Melissa McCarthy wears Spanx. Shocker! But really guys, I have to address the elephant in the room. Who else wears spanx? I wear them more often than I’d like to but I’ll admit it (If you see me in a t-shirt know I’m wearing spanks. Meaning often.) Now, what exactly can they do for me? I don’t know for you, but for me it does a great deal. Up until about a year ago I didn’t even know what spanx were to be quite honest. Actually, I lie. I knew it was the ugly-nude-one-piece-swim-suit looking thing old people
suffocated in wore underneath their clothes to hide, you know, undesirable volume. Or so I thought. Till I found myself on a set for a student film being measured for wardrobe and bluntly hinted at I needed spanx. Sad day. If you know me you’ll know I’m not the type to worry about my weight or being in good shape (except for that one gym-freak year) but that felt like a bullet. Let’s face it, the girl was right. I got over it real quick and went on a search for the perfect pair but confess to still be holding on to some skepticism: Was this really for me? I’m not old, but need spanx? What kind is the best kind? Will it really make a difference? Will I feel hot or suffocated? Here’s what I found out:
- Sorry to inform (or just reaffirm) but spanx are for you if you classify as a woman. No matter how skinny you are, no one is perfect and there’s always a little bump here and there you can hide.
- You probably won’t make constant use of them. I usually wear it when sporting a dress, a thin blouse, and ALWAYS do before putting on a t-shirt.
- I bought three different styles before getting it right (for me. Everyone is different). I tried the shorts which made my butt look fantastic but it felt too hot. So I went on trying the skort (skirt in spanx language). This one didn’t work at all. It didn’t feel tight enough and wouldn’t fit the purpose of wearing skirts and pants. Finally, I settled for the slim cognito shaping suit, which looks just like your grandma’s underwear but even higher up the waist. This style smooths down my belly and keep my legs free to breath. Downfall: My tummy is not the only thing that this shapewear flattens out. My butt looks as flat as a surf board in them. But again, life is about choices, you can’t have everything. I chose to have a slim tummy sometimes and other times I’ll have a round butt. One thing at a time!
- A picture speaks more than a thousand words. Look for yourself and see what difference this made in my life
Left: sans spanx. Right: with spanx.
Not to justify my visible lack of commitment with the gym, I have a big horizontal scar on my belly due to a bad car crash 21 years ago and that’s the fold you see above the belly button. The folds underneath the belly button and the side bumps are totally on me and take out restaurants.
- Of course I don’t put this on if it’s 90 degrees out because I’m not insane. But I have felt sick before from eating a humongous meal wearing spanks all at the same time. I just couldn’t help the extra fries. Another time I wore a combination of spanx and high waist leggings at once (suck a kooky). Luckly I started feeling difficulty to breath before leaving the house and had time to remove the suffocation devices before passing out.
To validate my decision of joining the spanx adept anonymous (no one talks about it, but a lot of young ladies wear them) Lauren Conrad made mention to it in the best seller “Style”. If super thin Lauren Conrad wears spanx by choice, it’s definitely not an option for me. It’s mandatory.